Long, long ago, in the bowels of history, the seeds of goonery were planted deep in the bloodlines of four disparate cultures.  The identity of these groups is a closely guarded secret, but suffice it to say that they each have ties to the uppermost echelons of several world powers.  Each of the 4 groups are led by a chieftain; a prophet, if you will.  These prophets are not so much elected as recognized by those around them.  When one departs for the great goonery in the sky, and after a period of ritual grieving and purification, the elders (also known as the goons) of the clan will go out in search of the next prophet.  While the ritualistic idiosyncrasies of each of the 4 clans differ, one basic theme emerges - the new cheiftain is renowned for his remarkable ability to embarass not only himself but his whole people.  In fact, this ability is usually so stunning in the prophet that it ironically demands respect.  And that respect is contagious, catching like wildfire, until the elders have little doubt as to the authenticity of the prophet.  At that time, the crown that goon their leader, and he is the one that will represent them in the sacred BOD - the board of directors. 

        For thousands of years, the tradition of the BOD has passed from member to member, with the holy charge of preserving goonery for all humankind, lest it fall into a stale moral stagnation, with waning awareness that goonery is real.  And one day each year, the BOD, along with goons everywhere, converge at the holy place of Milwaukee, in the park named after beer, and celebrate their dedication to the tradition of goonery.  This is not only a show of appreciation of goonery, but a foreshadowing of a coming goondom, where all will be led to the joy of the goon by the coming Gooniah - the chosen one. 

There has never been a female prophet on the BOD, but of late, foretales of the first female prophetess abound.  Some even say that the Gooniah will be a woman.   We can only hope.